We confirmed the date, including the time and location, on Monday evening. I give the advice to my clients to use the “confident confirmation” of “Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow” vs. ” In talking to both male clients (since I generally recommend the man confirms a day before the date) and friends, I know that many take this “weak” approach because they are afraid that if they say, “Looking forward to seeing you,” and don’t get a response, then their date will not show up. I realize that I’m somehow now in the minority of people who do not cancel plans. ), even if I don’t know the other person, to uphold a promise I make. You don’t have to incur the ire of someone if you bail and then turn off your phone. And, if you do need to cancel, remember that there’s a person at the other end, with real feelings and real things to do besides wait around for you.
On Wednesday evening, I received a text asking, “Still interested in meeting tomorrow evening? I suppose I get tired of other people’s propensity to bail (or flake or whatever you want to call it) being projected onto future dates… I write my plans in stone (which perhaps leads to a heavy day planner! But, remember that there is an actual person at the end of that phone.
” At 11 AM on Thursday, the day of the date, when I was at the gym and couldn’t reply, I got a, “Still on for ? In another instance, I scheduled a date for a Thursday evening. You can cancel on someone without seeing his or her reaction. But then when Thursday actually rolls around they realize it would actually be more fantastic to go home, flop on the bed and watch Carpool Karaoke videos. At the 11th hour, woman #1 (aka the flake) came through, and Dev had a dilemma: Go with woman #2 as planned even though he prefers woman #1 or cancel on woman #2. Eh, maybe I’ve been looking at this from the wrong angle. Dev, and all the dates out there who are thinking about flaking, either don’t (the optimal answer) or don’t schedule dates you don’t want to go on!Then Rick noticed the energy between them diminished immediately following this conversation. ) Let’s talk about who should lead on the first 4-8 dates.They talked about getting together again and his date said she’d let him know what was good. I explained to Rick about my “Ballroom Dancing Theory of Dating.” In ballroom dancing, there is only one leader – the man, and one follower – the woman.You think that there's a possibility that she might change the plans to a different day.
Now you're telling your friend about this and you say this.Dating is still an archaic mating ritual based on biology. However, as the woman, if you don’t wait and try to take over pursuit, you can lose big time.