As liberal as your partner and community are, there is much to be said about the decades of internalized racism that his/her parents might harvest.In this article about meeting the parents when you are in an interracial relationship, David Schiller gives some good tips, like pretending that you like all the food and refraining from mentioning race at all. Even if you think your family is totally cool and not the least bit racist, it might still come as a surprise when you show up for dinner with a person from ___ race. Some of these questions might be well intentioned, but ignorant and painful nonetheless.Once again, this is really sad as it just reinforces a society in which women are pitted against each other.This can also be a problem with men, such as you getting shunned by your girlfriend’s male friends.If you try to ignore all of these differences and say that “race doesn’t matter”, then you are setting yourself up for a big shock.However, if you can embrace these differences, then your romance can flourish. Fetish assumes that you are turned on by certain characteristics or things, such as people with a fetish for pantyhose or scat or whatever. It is a bit difficult to define the difference between a fetish and attraction.A fetish is purely sexual and the person will be attracted to ALL people of that race/appearance regardless of the person.
Clay told me the story of a department store employee who was obsessing over Clay’s family and its racial makeup.
“He was a white guy who was 19, and he would not let it go! Instead of shunning the curious stranger, they talked to him, and “it turned out that he had just started dating a black woman and was excited to see [our relationship] was working.