“I really wonder if it would have changed things to wait until we had connected more.”On the flip side, she’s also dated “quite a few guys who didn’t care at all” even though she told them ASAP.
Davis usually holds off on disclosing to potential sexual partners that she has herpes until she’s known them for a bit.
Davis says the number one question they get on The STD Project is about how to tell a new partner.
On sites like Positive Singles and HMates, users are expected to be open about their diagnoses, but because they know everyone else there has an STD, too, it removes a huge barrier—and the question of whether the information will send a potential partner packing.“It’s a great way to see you’re still the same interesting, sexy, desirable person,” Davis says.
And thanks to Positive Singles, a Tinder-style dating app for people who do not have to wrack their brains over whether or not they should tick the STD option on their profile, the first step is already on solid footing.
By removing the nuances of struggling with ‘choices’ on a normal dating website/app and divorcing the awkwardness of grappling with the decision of disclosing one’s condition on the second or third date, Positive Singles is making the ‘dating’ game a lot easier for the STD community.
To top it all off, she also tells them they don’t have to make a decision about whether to continue seeing her—or even respond—right away. But I usually peace out so they have their space to chew on it,” she says.
“I’ve always waited a little while before telling people, basically until I thought it was going somewhere,” Davis says.
“This isn’t everyone’s experience, but when I started dating with herpes, I found out none of my partners cared.”Although she sees that it’s intriguing to potentially avoid attachment—and thus heartbreak—by telling someone right out the gate, she makes an excellent point in favor of taking your time: “Nobody tells you all of the things about themselves that you usually don’t find out for a bit, like they have really bad credit or they’re a horrible cook, until you get to know each other.” Of course, it’s different with a health condition you can pass to someone else, but it’s worth noting.
Although herpes is one of the most prevalent sexually transmitted diseases, it’s shrouded in stigma.
The infection, which is caused by the herpes simplex 1 and herpes simplex 2 viruses and passed via skin-to-skin contact, can show up as a cluster of sores on the mouth area or genitals.
I could go on and on and on about it – but here’s the long story cut short.